It has been a while since I posted here. Let me know if you find these blog posts useful? I''d love to know. And if you have questions of your own -- I know you do, pleae email me at support@seaburyhouse.com with the word QUESTION in the subject line.. Dear Terri, I am one of the lucky ones. I have a daughter who comes to help with caregiving, so I do have some moments when I can rest and do some self-care. The problem is, my thoughts just race and I am not able to relax because I’m thinking so much. How do I slow down and enjoy the moment? Signed, Moving at 100 miles an hour. Dear, Moving Anxious or negative thoughts are crowding out this precious opportunity for a moment of peace of mind. Let's see if we can put them in their place and get you back under the speed limit! Chances are when you are midst of your caregiving day you don't have a chance to apply your creativity and intelligence to the problems life is presenting. Before your daughter arrives, decide whether you will use the time she's giving you to rest, or to plan and solve problems. If you've decided to use the time for planning and problem solving, then set a timer and make specific plans, phone calls, to research things online (not just mindless scrolling!) or send important emails. When the timer rings, put things away and make the rest of your break your personal time for resetting. As you take charge of how you are using this personal time, I suspect that your thoughts will calm down. In my book "Love, Dignity and Parkinson's," I discuss the importance of planning regular "Dates With Yourself" - dedicated time for self-care and reflection and sometimes just for fun. Please check that section and the appendix where I give caregivers ideas for those special times with yourself. Also, check out this article from the Harvard School of Health for more ideas about calming your anxious mind. You are indeed lucky to have your daughter's help. Let her gift improve your peace of mind. Hugs to you -- and pass one on to your daughter as well, Terri PS Don't forget that when you joined my list you got the link to my relaxation audio for caregivers. Here's the link again. Dear Terri I’m ready to go talk to an estate lawyer to prepare for what may come with PD. I’m very nervous about approaching the subject with my husband about it. He’s very sensitive about his symptoms and the potential outcome. How do I handle the discussion? Signed Treading lightly. Dear Treading lightly, Making these legal preparations isn't about expecting the worst - it's about protecting both you and your PWP and ensuring your wishes are honored. I often hear about the difficulties that caregivers face when they waited too long to take this important step. The best time to do it? Now. While your loved one has full cognitive capacity to participate in these important decisions. Many caregivers regret waiting. You can approach the conversation by emphasizing that it is not something you need now. That this is not planning for life after one of you passes, but on planning for the life you will live together. "I've been thinking about getting our paperwork in order - not because we need it now, but so we can focus on living our lives without worrying about administrative details. Would you come with me to meet an elder law attorney?" - Frame it as taking care of each other, not just about their Parkinson’s - Emphasize that having these documents gives you both more control, not less - Share that it's about peace of mind for you as their partner and for him as well. - Note that completing this now means you can file it away and focus on enjoying life together Most couples report feeling relieved after taking this step. It's an act of love - protecting each other and ensuring your wishes are respected. Remember, the best time to have difficult conversations is before they become urgent. With Hugs, Terri PS -- here are some key documents to discuss with the attorney: - Durable power of attorney for healthcare and finances - Living will/advance directives - Updated will and trust arrangements - Long-term care planning - Asset protection strategies |
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